is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
