i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
