Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
