I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize