i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize