I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
