I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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