Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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