absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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