Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize