So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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