Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
