He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize