C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
