he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize