We're facebook friends in real life
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Farmville is her only friend.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
