Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
