I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
