Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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