It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
