I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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