In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
MIDGETS
????
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
