idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
