Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
