My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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