It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize