he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize