But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
