Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
