haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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