You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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