Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
