That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
