ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Alive.
So much puke
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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