Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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