What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
