I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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