We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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