I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
