you guys were way drunker than both of me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
