I cockslap morals
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have fence marks all over my body
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize