Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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