Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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