We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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