areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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