ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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