I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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