last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize