I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm really busy with my period
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