Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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