This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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