Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
