My friends, they love my intelligence
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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