walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
