I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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