Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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