cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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