dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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