Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
