Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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