his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
