You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
