I don't think brook has ever known best
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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