He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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