well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
