She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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