She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Less talking, more tequila
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Rumble strips road head = magical
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
