Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
