And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
