make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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