You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
