Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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