i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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